Sunday, January 13, 2013
Two Sides To the Coin~~~~
The Lucky One has seen the"Kitten in me"...This aggressive Aries can Prrr like a kitten, when in love. Which lasts just as long, as I know that my Love is being reciprocated, in the manner I deserve.When I adore the object of my affection,My Love knows no boundaries,I can go all out of the way to win you over with Love, Care,Affection,Adoration,Dedication,Loyalty...Satisfy all your whims and fancies,because I feel its my duty. This phase stays with me,until I wake up to the reality.I can count on my fingers...how many have seen this "Kitten" in me....just Two !! yes,I have been in relationships,hard to say how many...but,its Only the Lucky Two who got the taste of the "Kitten in me"......
After all the high tide,the calm sets in,and its the dawn of realization,and the Kitten returns back to her normal self..."Aggressive Tigress" is what I call myself,after a careful self assessment. I hate to see me in Love,I hate it when I'm in Love,I hate the vulnerable Me. Where I prrr and coochie coo and get all mushy...doesn't suit me. I have come to the conclusion I wasn't made for Love. They are just 2 types of people whom I can Love, with totality and sincerity..whom, I have divided into 2 categories...They are, the ones, whom I can Respect and the ones I love out of Pity.
If I put you up on the Pedestal,its out of Respect and Admiration...which evolves into Love...Love totally made to idolize and worship..I can give you the reigns....and sit back,let you take over and dominate me. Because,I may be led to believe that you are worthy and deserving. One tiny bubble can puncture my imagination and you can come tumbling down,from the pedestal !!!
and then,I know you were just a mere Human,with errors and egos.
In the 2nd category,I love you,out of Pity.I want to care,I want to stay,I want to Love..but it all boils down to pity. I cant get myself to hurt you,cause you have meant me no harm... nor do you get my Respect...cause you have let me take the reigns for far too long. Letting me dominate you. This has always led to confusion.
Being always in confusion has not solved anything,being unable to voice thoughts has had the opposite effect,and being able to voice thoughts has its own fears,sends you thinking...."did I do the right thing,talking"?? When ever I have been in such confused state of mind,I like to stay away,I go into the cocooning phase and shut out,I feel safe when I'm "thinking",I come out still confused...as to "how do I say, what I need to say, to the other person" Is it gonna get any better?? or stale away...I need to choose my words carefully...I need to make myself Understood,I need to make my point clear with out crossing boundaries most importantly,I shouldn't get aggressive,sarcastic or hurt the other person or embarrass myself.......
In spite of all the wall talk ( talking to myself ) I'm unable to let go.I hate it when I'm being reminded of the recent past.Why is it so difficult for me to let go ?? Is it because until now...NO man had the audacity to take me for granted ?? and here I face the man,whom I adore and I don't get what I expect....So what is it that I expect from "Him"?? In this day and age of relationships with no strings attached and Friends with Benefits,I don't gel "in"its a scary thought for me to have a relationship,break up and still stay friends...ufff, its hard to digest. Cause if I were to "break up" then there would be some reason behind the break up. It can be Hurt,Pain,Lies,Trust Issues....although I may forgive...I never forget.The trust is gone Forever. I do have my share of "Ex" with whom I'm still in touch and they are all great dudes....The reason why I'm still friends with them is .....cause they "Never" hurt me...they made me feel good...they put me high up on a Pedestal....and I Admire each one of them !!!! :)
These days,I have been comparing the Married Men to the unmarried lot. It's a laughing matter and its not an exaggeration if I were to say...."Men have forgotten to evolve". They are still in the cave mans hunting stage with of course, the modern gadgets,which makes life oh so "complicatedly simple" .Its universal all over Young,Old,Married,Unmarried,Divorced...what ever the status may be,the one thing "he" wants "You" have it... To each his own....I'm not the ashamed one here...cause I wont point fingers at anyone. I like to live my life,at my will,on my terms....You can live yours,the way you please.
So, here is a small incident.. my Married friend ( my childhood classmate ) K.K lives in China.He has been married for over,18yrs. He calls me up time to time,we chat for hrs at end.Each time he calls me, he tells me, that, he wants to "see" me...He is willing to fly all the way to India. So, out of curiosity,I emailed my travel itenary to him....well, yeah !! you guessed right....He'll be in India,when I'm there, :P....I was listening to him with a naughty grin on my face....Hey,listen...the ball is still in my court.I can always,back off from seeing him... :). I wasn't surprised when he said he would fly down for a couple of days and fly back to China.I was expecting something like that...Lol
I'm totally okay with relationships,relationships,which mean no harm,which are safe,which do not hurt the either and their loved ones,which are long distance, LDR,which have years of earned respect and understanding.Relationships which can be openly spoken about and not hidden. The type of relationship I have with K.K is okay and normal and there is nothing to hide,my other half is well aware of.....but,the problem arises when ....He is ready to fly all the way from China to India,for a "day" to meet me....this is kinda not Normal in my opinion :). You don't need to be a Rocket Scientist,to guess what K.K is after.... huh.
Am I supposed to feel pride or Am I supposed to run away?? As far as I have known ,I guess, I send those vibes across ( unknowingly ) which men take it as a Invitation to flirt...Lolz. Nothing wrong with men flirting,they are meant to do that,But,I have still not understood...."why with me" ?? I don't remember encouraging any Man ( believe me ) . Well,I come across aggressive at times, I'm also....cool,cute,friendly,attentive,talkative.
Never,thought of myself as flirty or sexy ...
I have a long list of married men,who have at one time or the other proposed,flirted or directly asked me out...A husband of my best friend...best friend of 20+ yrs !! My reaction was of total disbelief and surprise...For the last 8yrs,He has been calling me all the way from India...yep nothing great..but listen to this...He drives a couple of hrs from his remote Estate... due to connectivity issues,he,drives all the way to the city,( Mysore or Bangalore) once a week,only to call Me !! How do you expect me to react ?? Tell my best friend ? tell her,her hubby is flirting with me? It all began with innocent decent talks,in the beginning. But,as time went by,innocence was replaced by bold demands/wants/flirty remarks.
I didn't want to upset the delicate balance and spoil my relationship with my Best Friend of 20+ yrs...If I happened to answer his call,I would make some polite conversations,after a short while make some excuse and end the call..and hoped by some miracle he would take it as a hint and stop calling....Nopes,nothing worked,in fact he would get upset or irritated at me....So,I used the best weapon we women use....Ignore,ignored his calls,in the hope,He would get the message and stop calling.This didn't work too...for a while the calls went on....It took him 8 long yrs,to give up !!...sadly it ended with a sour note... :( However,I'm still in good terms with my Best Friend,and she knows nothing about this whole episode....
The Unmarried on the other hand...oh goshh, what do I say...Lolzzz...they can send me to the Moon one night,buy me the Stars...walk on the clouds...Eat ice cream on a snowy night....Praise me...embrace me.. even with all my insults, still,flaunt me....Only....To bed Me !!! :P
After all my studies and comparing between the Married and the Unmarried lot....I still, prefer the Married,however ( at a arms length ) because, they are more easy to deal with and most of them are very understanding.They are also very appreciative and polite, unlike the other unmarried lot. The single men are more or less fickle minded,opportunistic by nature and also quick to hop in and out...Thus making me push them to the back burners... Lolz. This is a generalized assessment of course...
Friday, January 4, 2013
Desi Parents In America !!! Part 1 and 2
PART ONE
Even before I begin to pen my thoughts,I need to consider a few things regarding the Kids raised under different set of circumstances,situations,class,country....its not easy for me to judge others on my believes,cause its not right on my part to impart advices,as I myself is a "Learner"...With respect to all the readers as a Parent,I understand,You are doing a wonderful job of raising your child/children.With all the sacrifices you do,The love and care,which Only a thoughtful,Parent can give,The bond You share with your Child.....Its only between the "Parent and Child"....thus it makes the relationship....so special !!!
I was born and raised in India.Yes I do have some very Modern as well as some very Ancient ( according to some) ways of thinking.Don't judge me....its not my fault, :) . We all evolve with time,in some cases time goes ahead leaving you behind,but,to make things run smoothly you need to go forward and keep pace with time.I'm of the understanding,when one is at the learning stage...starting off as a new born...toddler...kindergartner...and so on...The child looks up to the Parents and peers for guidance,support, and Advice.It becomes the duty of the Parent to Guide the child,Nurture the innocent brain, feed it with care and Love.In these times,its what You as a parent has learn t and experienced comes to use.We impart to the child,what we know the good the bad,its our life experience that we impart to our offspring,...we try to keep our child safe...we set examples...as good parents...
When my parents raised Me, My dad, imparted the knowledge of/from his generation,what he as a child learned,through his mistakes and He was careful enough to see that I didn't make those choices and tried to keep me safe...( did he do anything wrong,by trying to keep me safe ??)...When I was young,I thought my dad was,over protective..I failed to see the undying Love and Care and Fear,my Dad had for me...Thats because I was not yet a "Parent"...
Times have seen changes,generation gaps are still mentioned from time to time.I was born during the era of....Bread,
Led Zeppelin,April wine, Bee Gees, The Doors, Rolling stones Boston, Billy Idol, Metallica ,MJ, Madonna, Dire Straits, Radio Head, Nirvana, 311,Alice in Chains, Guns N Roses,Santana,.........just to name a few....I grew up listening to them and crooning to their tunes...My Preteen has No idea who these are...She belongs to the generation of...Rihanna, Katy perry, Shakira ,Beyonce, Usher, Nicki Minaj, Adele, Taylor swift......to name a few.....In this age and era of Tech,X box, Laptops ,iPads, and all the other gadgets....There seems to be a void between the Parent and the child..not to forget the extra curricular activities,which take away a lot of time....The tech savvy Parents versus the tech savvy kids !!! Parents all over the world,be it India or America..look for lone time...and children are being encouraged to be independent and keep themselves busy with...Gadgets.
In spite of all the modernization and the technology,Parents have always wanted one thing, which they have made as their Priority in life ( and those who haven't, its high time you did ) The safety and well being of their children. No matter, how broad minded,well educated and modern you are...at the end of the day....You are a "Parent".
PART TWO
Do,I need to doubt my abilities as a Mother ? as a Nurturer ?Well,after some debate last night over how to raise Desi kids in the States,I began to wonder.This takes me back to the generation gap and the cultural infrastructure.
In my experience ( which is relatively vast) I have not come across anyone who sincerely asks for Advice,I have come to understand that when a person,comes to you seeking for your Advice,He/She has already done the research and has come to a conclusion,of the situation.Then,asking for a Advice,can be a matter of habit,or a matter of satisfaction.So,this person feels safer,knowing that,there's another,who sees His/Her point of view and agrees.....Like wise,I do my research carefully and then decide to ask for a second opinion,I'm broad minded and always open to suggestions and like to know what a like minded person would have to say....
But,I would say its not wise on my part to ask a "yet to be parent" about raising Desi Kids in America !! Here its tricky and no matter how like minded or compatible one would be, but,A parent has a totally different view point,almost opposing to that of the 'yet to be parent'....Over the years as a Parent, my priorities seem to have changed,It wasn't unexpected or didn't come as a rude shock...I changed with the change.....Before,I can go any further,I need to take this journey down the memory lane.....It goes way back to my Dad and his growing up days. I agree Living in a big city,or a modern society,brings a change in a person.One can be totally foolish living amongst scholars,or be aloof and lonely living in NYC !!.....like wise,you can be broad minded living in a small town or narrow minded living in a city.....Growing up in my home town,I was considered to be a misfit,because of my thoughts and my modern thinking.....Now I am here in this Modern,broad minded,forward country ......and looks like,I am left behind.....uff
Back in those days 1950's,this is when my Dad was single,He had totally different views which naturally opposed and stood out from the rest of the common crowd.Yes,he wanted to escape from the narrow mindedness and the norms, which bind us to the so called society.To have it his way,He remained single for as long as he possibly could.When all of his friends got married,to the girls chosen for them by the Parents ( called as arranged marriages ),My Dad,went ahead and said he wouldn't settle for any arranged marriage.Call him a rebel !! He went to live in the cities...had a few relationships which didn't work.Finally,my grand dad had to step in and an ultimatum was given.To cut the long story short,My dad married my Mom.He still maintained his thoughts about the society and how he wants to lead His life and what he had in store for his offspring.So,the "yet to be Dad"...was busy making plans,to be the "most broad minded dad" to give the offspring...All the liberty and Freedom and be a buddy !!! okay,sounds interesting...There,the offspring came along,in a Pink bundle...A Baby Girrrrl !!!
Okay, that's me the First born.Now,it was left to see,was he gonna keep his word?? was he gonna be the broad minded dad,he claimed to be...Ahaan,The fun part has yet to begin,( if you're a Dad and your reading this you know what I mean ).... I was the Apple of His Eye !!! A tiny little scratch and the whole roof would come down...My every wish was his command...This,one particular incident,is for ever itched in my mind....we had gone to Bangalore( state capital of Karnataka) which is situated in the South of India...and we were almost reaching back home,to Mangalore...Our driver Dharampal was driving...I must have been 17 yrs old...and I suddenly...gasped,at my forgetfulness,and loudly made a comment....."papa,I had seen this one beautiful gown on Brigade...and goshhh,I wanted it so bad" :( :( .That was it,Dharampal was asked to turn around and we were going back to B'lore for that gown !!!! can you believe it ??? Well that's one side to my loving Papa...I never had to ask for anything twice !! call me pampered ....On the other hand...I was all of 10 and had this desire to learn, to play the Guitar...the answer was NO, a flat NO. Extra curricular activities would interfere with my studies...I was 13 and wanted to learn swimming,again....it was NO. I was 15 and wanted to learn Karate....NO.In the meanwhile my siblings,my 2 brothers,were in to sports,music,instrument...and the blah blah.
At 17,I was a total rebel,I went ahead and took swimming lessons,with out my dad's permission.This doesn't mean I didn't respect him,I was just learning to come out from under his wings.I was trying to tell my Dad its okay,I can take care of myself,he needn't worry.But,each person has a different way of conveying a message,some do it aggressively some do it calmly,ultimately it is you who has to decide.There is no Right or Wrong,what you perceive to be "Right",could be "Wrong" in my view. Yes,I was raised with a boundary line drawn neatly and wasn't supposed to cross it.This used to a common practice in almost all the house holds back home in M'lore.One more stricter, than the other.Looking back,I consider myself Lucky cause,I have seen and known some friends,whose parents,were far more strict than my dad.Talking about boys or thinking of a having a boyfriend was Taboo........
Time and again I have rebelled,this is when I was in my 20s yes 20s !! I was offered a job as a Ground Hostess..and this is what my Dad had to say...."Over my dead body,you are NOT taking this job,You are My daughter and you aren't going to work". He was of the thought,that he would be looked down upon,and the damn society would think my dad wasn't capable of taking care of his Family..so,Family,Name and Prestige were the 3 vital issues.......
No man was good enough for this "Papa's girl" Men who came were Analyzed under a microscope.So,years went by,I was seeing my friends marrying and settling down.At 29 the rebel in me woke up,only to get married to the person I had never met before......( yes, I was in for this arranged marriage)...Life is a Gamble,and I'm all for risks !! I have taken risks in the past here and there,a tiny one here a tiny one there...Risks which didn't involve my Family,Risks which were harmless,Risks which didn't hurt someone.I have Gambled with life...But,come to think of it..destiny has always had a different game planed out for me....So,this gambler settles down.....been 15 yrs.
When did I turn and tune in to sound and act like my Dad??? When my Pink Bundle was handed over to me !!! the Fragile little thing,melted my heart,is it possible to Love somebody unconditionally ?? Is it possible to lay your self down for somebody ?? Yes it is...Every parent can do it...Welcome to Parenthood !! I the one with the free spirit...I the Broad minded one....I the Gambler,has turned into the ....Over protective,Paranoid Mom !!!.....Now I ask you.......is it okay or is it not okay ???
I wouldn't want my kid going to parties at 14 or 15, why ?? cause its NOT safe. She's my baby and I have every right to decide what is good for Her and what she needs to stay away from...I as a Parent is here, to Guide her, To Protect, to see to it that she doesn't fall into bad company,I'm doing my best to teach her to be Alert and stay safe, It is My Duty. I don't give a S*** about what the society or others have to say regarding me as a over protective Mom. My child will learn on her own with my support,she'll get to party with her friends,but at the right age. She'll get to enjoy life, You need to prioritize your life...life is just not about parties, and Boys. Everything has a place and time......She is a preteen, and has a whole life ahead of her, to think of Boys or Parties !!....Right now,its all about studies and her Karate and growing up to be a responsible,level headed individual .It wont be long when she will begin to make her own choices,Think for herself. When she begins to show maturity in her thoughts and day to day life, I'll know its time for me to back off a little bit and let her Fly. Until that day,I'm her "Over Protective,Paranoid Mom"...I'm Proud of myself.... this is how its gonna be,for some more years....as of now, its not gonna change anything :). I don't fear change, because change is inevitable......We just learn to change with time.....Its just Time !!!!
I don't think as Mother, it makes me any backward,old fashioned or narrow minded, if I don't let my baby have it her way....when I know for sure Her way could be a way to Pain and Hurt...why would I want my child to take that way??, I rather teach her how to avoid it.These are her grooming days,Her foundation needs to be strong,for her to build her empire over it.This is where my child needs all the guidance and support that I can provide.I don't want her making any fast paced attempt and then find herself in the wrong direction.I as her Mother,has the best intentions....and She knows it !!! She can have all that she wants.....Parties,Boy Friend,Car...............All at the Right Time !!!!!
Hello Papa......I'm walking In your Foot Steps....Now I know,what it is like to be a Parent.....And I Love You even More...muah
Even before I begin to pen my thoughts,I need to consider a few things regarding the Kids raised under different set of circumstances,situations,class,country....its not easy for me to judge others on my believes,cause its not right on my part to impart advices,as I myself is a "Learner"...With respect to all the readers as a Parent,I understand,You are doing a wonderful job of raising your child/children.With all the sacrifices you do,The love and care,which Only a thoughtful,Parent can give,The bond You share with your Child.....Its only between the "Parent and Child"....thus it makes the relationship....so special !!!
I was born and raised in India.Yes I do have some very Modern as well as some very Ancient ( according to some) ways of thinking.Don't judge me....its not my fault, :) . We all evolve with time,in some cases time goes ahead leaving you behind,but,to make things run smoothly you need to go forward and keep pace with time.I'm of the understanding,when one is at the learning stage...starting off as a new born...toddler...kindergartner...and so on...The child looks up to the Parents and peers for guidance,support, and Advice.It becomes the duty of the Parent to Guide the child,Nurture the innocent brain, feed it with care and Love.In these times,its what You as a parent has learn t and experienced comes to use.We impart to the child,what we know the good the bad,its our life experience that we impart to our offspring,...we try to keep our child safe...we set examples...as good parents...
When my parents raised Me, My dad, imparted the knowledge of/from his generation,what he as a child learned,through his mistakes and He was careful enough to see that I didn't make those choices and tried to keep me safe...( did he do anything wrong,by trying to keep me safe ??)...When I was young,I thought my dad was,over protective..I failed to see the undying Love and Care and Fear,my Dad had for me...Thats because I was not yet a "Parent"...
Times have seen changes,generation gaps are still mentioned from time to time.I was born during the era of....Bread,
Led Zeppelin,April wine, Bee Gees, The Doors, Rolling stones Boston, Billy Idol, Metallica ,MJ, Madonna, Dire Straits, Radio Head, Nirvana, 311,Alice in Chains, Guns N Roses,Santana,.........just to name a few....I grew up listening to them and crooning to their tunes...My Preteen has No idea who these are...She belongs to the generation of...Rihanna, Katy perry, Shakira ,Beyonce, Usher, Nicki Minaj, Adele, Taylor swift......to name a few.....In this age and era of Tech,X box, Laptops ,iPads, and all the other gadgets....There seems to be a void between the Parent and the child..not to forget the extra curricular activities,which take away a lot of time....The tech savvy Parents versus the tech savvy kids !!! Parents all over the world,be it India or America..look for lone time...and children are being encouraged to be independent and keep themselves busy with...Gadgets.
In spite of all the modernization and the technology,Parents have always wanted one thing, which they have made as their Priority in life ( and those who haven't, its high time you did ) The safety and well being of their children. No matter, how broad minded,well educated and modern you are...at the end of the day....You are a "Parent".
PART TWO
Do,I need to doubt my abilities as a Mother ? as a Nurturer ?Well,after some debate last night over how to raise Desi kids in the States,I began to wonder.This takes me back to the generation gap and the cultural infrastructure.
In my experience ( which is relatively vast) I have not come across anyone who sincerely asks for Advice,I have come to understand that when a person,comes to you seeking for your Advice,He/She has already done the research and has come to a conclusion,of the situation.Then,asking for a Advice,can be a matter of habit,or a matter of satisfaction.So,this person feels safer,knowing that,there's another,who sees His/Her point of view and agrees.....Like wise,I do my research carefully and then decide to ask for a second opinion,I'm broad minded and always open to suggestions and like to know what a like minded person would have to say....
But,I would say its not wise on my part to ask a "yet to be parent" about raising Desi Kids in America !! Here its tricky and no matter how like minded or compatible one would be, but,A parent has a totally different view point,almost opposing to that of the 'yet to be parent'....Over the years as a Parent, my priorities seem to have changed,It wasn't unexpected or didn't come as a rude shock...I changed with the change.....Before,I can go any further,I need to take this journey down the memory lane.....It goes way back to my Dad and his growing up days. I agree Living in a big city,or a modern society,brings a change in a person.One can be totally foolish living amongst scholars,or be aloof and lonely living in NYC !!.....like wise,you can be broad minded living in a small town or narrow minded living in a city.....Growing up in my home town,I was considered to be a misfit,because of my thoughts and my modern thinking.....Now I am here in this Modern,broad minded,forward country ......and looks like,I am left behind.....uff
Back in those days 1950's,this is when my Dad was single,He had totally different views which naturally opposed and stood out from the rest of the common crowd.Yes,he wanted to escape from the narrow mindedness and the norms, which bind us to the so called society.To have it his way,He remained single for as long as he possibly could.When all of his friends got married,to the girls chosen for them by the Parents ( called as arranged marriages ),My Dad,went ahead and said he wouldn't settle for any arranged marriage.Call him a rebel !! He went to live in the cities...had a few relationships which didn't work.Finally,my grand dad had to step in and an ultimatum was given.To cut the long story short,My dad married my Mom.He still maintained his thoughts about the society and how he wants to lead His life and what he had in store for his offspring.So,the "yet to be Dad"...was busy making plans,to be the "most broad minded dad" to give the offspring...All the liberty and Freedom and be a buddy !!! okay,sounds interesting...There,the offspring came along,in a Pink bundle...A Baby Girrrrl !!!
Okay, that's me the First born.Now,it was left to see,was he gonna keep his word?? was he gonna be the broad minded dad,he claimed to be...Ahaan,The fun part has yet to begin,( if you're a Dad and your reading this you know what I mean ).... I was the Apple of His Eye !!! A tiny little scratch and the whole roof would come down...My every wish was his command...This,one particular incident,is for ever itched in my mind....we had gone to Bangalore( state capital of Karnataka) which is situated in the South of India...and we were almost reaching back home,to Mangalore...Our driver Dharampal was driving...I must have been 17 yrs old...and I suddenly...gasped,at my forgetfulness,and loudly made a comment....."papa,I had seen this one beautiful gown on Brigade...and goshhh,I wanted it so bad" :( :( .That was it,Dharampal was asked to turn around and we were going back to B'lore for that gown !!!! can you believe it ??? Well that's one side to my loving Papa...I never had to ask for anything twice !! call me pampered ....On the other hand...I was all of 10 and had this desire to learn, to play the Guitar...the answer was NO, a flat NO. Extra curricular activities would interfere with my studies...I was 13 and wanted to learn swimming,again....it was NO. I was 15 and wanted to learn Karate....NO.In the meanwhile my siblings,my 2 brothers,were in to sports,music,instrument...and the blah blah.
At 17,I was a total rebel,I went ahead and took swimming lessons,with out my dad's permission.This doesn't mean I didn't respect him,I was just learning to come out from under his wings.I was trying to tell my Dad its okay,I can take care of myself,he needn't worry.But,each person has a different way of conveying a message,some do it aggressively some do it calmly,ultimately it is you who has to decide.There is no Right or Wrong,what you perceive to be "Right",could be "Wrong" in my view. Yes,I was raised with a boundary line drawn neatly and wasn't supposed to cross it.This used to a common practice in almost all the house holds back home in M'lore.One more stricter, than the other.Looking back,I consider myself Lucky cause,I have seen and known some friends,whose parents,were far more strict than my dad.Talking about boys or thinking of a having a boyfriend was Taboo........
Time and again I have rebelled,this is when I was in my 20s yes 20s !! I was offered a job as a Ground Hostess..and this is what my Dad had to say...."Over my dead body,you are NOT taking this job,You are My daughter and you aren't going to work". He was of the thought,that he would be looked down upon,and the damn society would think my dad wasn't capable of taking care of his Family..so,Family,Name and Prestige were the 3 vital issues.......
No man was good enough for this "Papa's girl" Men who came were Analyzed under a microscope.So,years went by,I was seeing my friends marrying and settling down.At 29 the rebel in me woke up,only to get married to the person I had never met before......( yes, I was in for this arranged marriage)...Life is a Gamble,and I'm all for risks !! I have taken risks in the past here and there,a tiny one here a tiny one there...Risks which didn't involve my Family,Risks which were harmless,Risks which didn't hurt someone.I have Gambled with life...But,come to think of it..destiny has always had a different game planed out for me....So,this gambler settles down.....been 15 yrs.
When did I turn and tune in to sound and act like my Dad??? When my Pink Bundle was handed over to me !!! the Fragile little thing,melted my heart,is it possible to Love somebody unconditionally ?? Is it possible to lay your self down for somebody ?? Yes it is...Every parent can do it...Welcome to Parenthood !! I the one with the free spirit...I the Broad minded one....I the Gambler,has turned into the ....Over protective,Paranoid Mom !!!.....Now I ask you.......is it okay or is it not okay ???
I wouldn't want my kid going to parties at 14 or 15, why ?? cause its NOT safe. She's my baby and I have every right to decide what is good for Her and what she needs to stay away from...I as a Parent is here, to Guide her, To Protect, to see to it that she doesn't fall into bad company,I'm doing my best to teach her to be Alert and stay safe, It is My Duty. I don't give a S*** about what the society or others have to say regarding me as a over protective Mom. My child will learn on her own with my support,she'll get to party with her friends,but at the right age. She'll get to enjoy life, You need to prioritize your life...life is just not about parties, and Boys. Everything has a place and time......She is a preteen, and has a whole life ahead of her, to think of Boys or Parties !!....Right now,its all about studies and her Karate and growing up to be a responsible,level headed individual .It wont be long when she will begin to make her own choices,Think for herself. When she begins to show maturity in her thoughts and day to day life, I'll know its time for me to back off a little bit and let her Fly. Until that day,I'm her "Over Protective,Paranoid Mom"...I'm Proud of myself.... this is how its gonna be,for some more years....as of now, its not gonna change anything :). I don't fear change, because change is inevitable......We just learn to change with time.....Its just Time !!!!
I don't think as Mother, it makes me any backward,old fashioned or narrow minded, if I don't let my baby have it her way....when I know for sure Her way could be a way to Pain and Hurt...why would I want my child to take that way??, I rather teach her how to avoid it.These are her grooming days,Her foundation needs to be strong,for her to build her empire over it.This is where my child needs all the guidance and support that I can provide.I don't want her making any fast paced attempt and then find herself in the wrong direction.I as her Mother,has the best intentions....and She knows it !!! She can have all that she wants.....Parties,Boy Friend,Car...............All at the Right Time !!!!!
Hello Papa......I'm walking In your Foot Steps....Now I know,what it is like to be a Parent.....And I Love You even More...muah
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